Subhechha Mitra - Sharing a journey

Understanding my self-worth did not come easy to me. Every time I thought I understood the concept, I was tested by circumstances and I failed. But the beauty is, life doesn't stop testing you until you pass it successfully.  Basis my experience so far, I have come to believe that self-worth stems from self-love . So, I have watched a zillion self-love videos, movies on empowerment, read motivational quotes, heard songs and speeches. Yet every time I had to prove my love for myself, I just didn't make it through. You could say that it is a price, that people who were brought up to be kind , pay.  It roots from the very time when I wasn't allowed to switch on the lights when the elder men in my family were sleeping in a room that had the full-length mirror, even if I needed to get ready for school. It roots from the time when the ladies in my family always kept the bigger pieces of the fish or meat or larger share of a delicacy, for the men and children (they did it voluntar

You confuse me. I dislike you for a zillion things you do but I cannot deny my love for you.  You are all the things I don't want to be or want my spouse to be, but I wouldn't be the best version of me if it weren't for you.  You wouldn't let me touch your steering wheels or teach me how to drive. No matter how much that irks me, you are my favourite-est person to go on drives with...not because you are just the best at it, but you look forward to my playlist as much I take pleasure in listening to my favourite numbers in your kickass car stereo and we end up humming the same tunes. Even a fool could fool you but how can I ever question your wisdom with the kind of woman you chose to marry. You are the weirdest son but the best son in law. You don't like seeing me pluck my eyebrows, wax my limbs, plank the fat out of my body or as much as extract my blackheads as you know it hurts me. But you know there are a lot of bigger battles that I have had to fight on my own.

I don't consider myself to be the ideal friend. Not something to be proud of but I am glad that my Sheldon Cooper-ish eccentricities found me few but just the right people I can call my buddies. And today is a BIG day for four of my childhood and best buddies! AK completed his Masters' from SRH University, Germany. Thank God for technology, I could virtually attend his convocation via a live stream. Having witnessed his journey till here, cannot tell you how proud it made me feel to see him deliver his convocation speech on the dais today, almost-teary eyed. ( I remember how I sobbed like a child when nobody attended my convocation. It was like this big dream that never got fulfilled. But it felt really nice to be there for somebody else and live my dream through his 😊 )   After months and months of hard work, AB earned an opportunity for a collaborative PhD with DRDO in NIT Rourkela. I have seen him undergo the entire process to make it till here and I tell you it is a real